


Lonely Thoughts Make A Broken Man

by skybluethoughts



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Endgame is nothing but a petty nightmare, Gen, I miss Tony Stark OKAY, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, fuck the russos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 23:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20956337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybluethoughts/pseuds/skybluethoughts
Summary: It's hard to forget memories of old when they're not as harsh as reality. A little look at Tony Stark's thoughts regarding the Avengers and or lack of thereof.





	Lonely Thoughts Make A Broken Man

**Author's Note:**

> i stay awake at night thinking about this man :(

There was a lot to be said about the genius, billionaire, (former) playboy, philanthropist, Tony Stark. Those titles in and of themselves lay it out pretty clear the kind of life he leads. Yet there's always more to a person than what their appearance allows you to perceive.

He seemed to have it all. While materialistically, that may be true, one must be reminded that having it all in a materialistic standpoint does not equate to having everything. Tony Stark, for all that he possessed, still did not have it _all_. For a man of billions who was constantly in the spotlight, Tony lacked real relationships. Sure he had his small inner circle of those he trusted—Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Peter, and even May Parker—but he had lost a strong bond due to a petty dispute over politics (it was more than politics that caused the fission, but he tried not to think of it).

Tony was haunted by the ghosts of his past, and to say they didn't constantly cross his mind would be a lie. Pepper knew this, Rhodey knew this, hell even Peter knew this. Tony once had it all, but now it felt like he had nothing. His heart had been ripped out and poorly sewn back into place. There were fragments missing. Minuscule as they were, it hurt nonetheless.

Oftentimes Tony would find himself thinking about his once team (once family) in everyday situations. He might find a knife misplaced, and immediately he wants to ask Natasha if she took it. Tony will turn around to go find her, only to be reminded that she was not here—none of them were. Each time hurts more than the last like an open wound being torn further before it can scab over.

Tony often wonders where they are now and worries about their wellbeing. Logically, he feels it only makes the pain worse but old habits die hard. He knows that Clint is on house arrest back on his farm, and Tony is happy that Clint's with his family. There's a hunch he has, mostly fueled by rumors and blurry CCTV footage, that Sam, Natasha, and Steve are constantly on the move together, Wanda sometimes with them. He doesn't doubt that they're being "Avengers" in secret. It hurts caring for them even after their betrayal. And it would be false to say that every once in a blue moon Tony will ponder how Bucky is holding up (he doesn't care, he really doesn't).

If Tony's being honest with himself, it all started after Ultron when Bruce went MIA, the quinjet seemingly disappearing off the face of the Earth. He hopes his friend is safe. For all Tony knows, he could be in some foreign country on the down low doing humanitarian work. Ideas constantly pop up in his head that he wishes to share with Bruce, but Bruce isn't there. He hasn't been there for two years. Tony should be used to it by now, but he doesn't want it to become the new normal so he doesn't let it.

Even Thor will cross Tony's mind. He always does whenever he's off world. They were never particularly close per se, but they were teammates, friends even. Tony was well aware Thor could hold his own, so he didn't worry much about the god's wellbeing, it wasn't necessary. Last that Tony was aware, Thor was searching the cosmos for infinity stones—whatever the hell those are (Tony would soon know, would soon see the destruction they can and will cause).

It's been a little over a year since Thor had last graced Earth from Tony's knowledge. He knew Thor would make brief stops to see Jane, but after news of their breakup got out, Thor hadn't been seen since. It didn't bother Tony that the god never visited, he understood that he was busy with his own life. In Tony's mind, Thor and Bruce were all that were left of the original team even if they haven't been in contact for two years.

* * *

Everything seemed to go to shit so quickly. One moment he's planning his wedding with Pepper, upgrading Peter's suit, and hanging back with Rhodey; the next there's a quick sighting of Thor in New York, a strange anomaly above a cliff in Norway, and a few months down the line there's aliens in Central Park, Thanos, the stones, Tony's world crumbling to ash in his hands. It's far too much, far too fast. He was going to call Steve, but he didn't even have time for that. Now he was stuck on an alien planet with some blue cyborg vowing vengeance upon her father.

There's no quick way to go home. There's no form of communication that can reach Earth. Is Earth even still around? Surly the planet is, but it's people. Are Earth's inhabitants still around? The same people Tony had sworn to protect? The same people—person—that changed to dust right in his grasp?

Tony was so close. The win was right there for him to grab, but it slipped from his reach and shattered into millions of pieces. Now Tony was truly alone. Pepper, Rhodey, and Bruce—who had he just got back—were light years away. For all Tony knew, they could be dust too.

Tony had it all, but over time everything that made up all was violently ripped away from him. No matter what he did with his life, destruction seemed to follow. First, it was his parents, then Obadiah's betrayal, some small upsets, his team being torn in two, and now this, whatever it is you wanted to call it. Thanos. Half of all life ceasing to exist. It was all the same in the end.

Eventually Tony made his way back to Earth, Nebula in tow, and only then did it fully sink what Tony had been mourning these past two years. His team was there, though now half were ash, but they were still there. Steve, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, and Clint (Natasha had assured him of his survival). It was rather poetic that they, the six of them, had created the beginning and persevered through the end. It was an odd way for the universe to patch up a wound, but at least Tony now had something.

Lonely thoughts may make a broken man, but a broken man does not have to be alone. For Tony would trudge to the edge of the universe to procure an unlikely victory feeling alone but never once being confined to solitude itself.

**Author's Note:**

> this can also be found on my wattpad @skybluethoughts


End file.
